On Writing and Procrastinating

There's this weird phenomenon I experience whenever I'm writing; or rather, whenever I'm thinking about writing: I want to do it. I ache to write. My fingers twitch on the keyboard...and yet I don't do it.

I can't bring myself to sit down, open up that document, and start typing. My brain is alive with ideas and plotlines, with snappy dialogue and fun descriptions, but that's all that happens...it just stays there.

And it's not just writing fiction; oh no, I do this with all genres. With poems, blog posts, personal essays...I think about writing so, so much, but I don't actually write that often. I just, like...marinate in my thoughts.

Honestly, if I were as productive in reality as I am mentally, I would be...so freaking prolific already. And probably actually be able to survive, financially, as a freelancer.

I think it's a common problem with writers, especially perfectionistic ones, this habit of thinking more about writing than actually writing. They say it's because us perfectionists are afraid that the end product won't be as good as what we've visualized. 

And I am a total perfectionist; I have this insane need to be excellent at everything, the best, top of the line...

But I don't think that's my problem. It's more this thing of inertia, where until I'm working on something I just can't get up the gumption to do it.

So, say, I sit down with a cup of coffee and my laptop, along with my annotated previous draft and the big book of notes I have, I'll have this fire and drive to start drafting, and that'll propel me through a good 1,500-2,000 words in one session.

It's just getting there that's so very hard.

And if I take a break for a day or so, it's even harder to get back in the swing of things.

In this way, writing is so much like exercising. Now, I don't know too much about that on account of, hahahahaha I don't work out, but still — I'm familiar with the general concept. Basically, what I hear is that the more you work out, the easier it is. 

It's the same with writing, at least for me; the longer a break I take, the harder it is to get back into it. For example, last week I was out of town working childcare for a conference — 8.5 hour days wrangling children and by the end of it all I could do was lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. 

I've been back since Friday, and today is the first day I was able to get some writing done. On the bright side: I'm pretty sure it'll be a smidge easier tomorrow!

Now, I do want to be clear: I'm not saying that the only way to write is to do it every day; honestly, everyone has their own process and technique, and for some people it's easier to spend, like, eight hours one day writing and then have a week off; for me, I can handle something like, oh, 45 minutes to an hour and a half in one day, but not a full day's work on one project. It's a weird focus thing. 

I could reasonably spend a whole day writing if it were different projects, but that's about all I've got.

And that's okay! Writing is so personal and such an individualized process that no two writers' days are going to look exactly the same. Which is, frankly, one of the beauties of this craft.

There's so many more, but...it's late, I'm tired, and this post has gone on long enough.

BUT in news: be sure to check out https://operationawesome6.blogspot.com, because I'm going to be blogging there every Monday starting next week! Woooot!!